Awakening a Keen Observer

Thursday, November 17, 2005


Grace be yours

Two people I know recently lost pets. One a cat another a dog both animals had been part of their families for almost 20 years. They were sad. As well they should be. These animals become part of our lives. Grief works in us in individual ways.
When our son lost a friend to suicide we sent him to a counselor. Our son said he really wanted to work through this so it didn't catch up with him later and he not have worked with it. It was brave of him to confront this head-on. And to be honest we didn't give him a lot of choice in the matter.
Three months after my mother died someone came up to me and said. "Well it's been three months since your mom died I guess you are about over it?' Seriously that is what they said! I had no reply! I asked, "Have you ever lost anyone close to you?" "Well. No." was her reply. I said, "Well that explains your question."
I am not sure we get over grief, we get through it. Sometimes we have resources to help us cope. We have friends, a church, a faith, a promise, the help of the one who died before they left us, life experiences, and TIME.
Time is truly a healer. It doesn't make the sadness leave it does help when we have support bring to us the good memories to overpower the losses.
One woman was told as her daughter neared death..."God has given this to you to make you stronger."
NO I say No! We talked for some time about how she really saw God in the world not killing her daughter to teach the Mom a lesson.
God isn't up there dealing out tragedy to strength one person or another. That is not the way God as I know God operates. God weeps with us. Holds and enfolds us. God gives us strength for the journey. Sigh. God abides
And grief comes and hits us sometime like a wave out of nowhere. It can be a reminder that makes us smile as much as cry that takes us off our feet. It is when something wonderful happens in our lives as much as when we are lonely or in pain that we miss those we treasure because we so long to share with them our joys as well as our fears or pain.
In the midst of this ---tears are a gift.
AnnTaylor Fleming has an essay on grief. I suppose I will post it here when It is posted on line so the whole of it will appear. She is a reporter on The News Hour on PBS.
Then there are these words... Abide in me and I will abide in you.." Jesus


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